


Trying For Anything But A Fairytale

by Weevilo707



Series: Taakitz Week 2018 [5]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Meet the Family, Modern Fantasy, Multi, Secret Identity, Taakitz Week, but in Secret, everyone is fey and werewolves and dragons and shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 17:40:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14141139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weevilo707/pseuds/Weevilo707
Summary: Shit was starting to get serious with Kravitz, Taako could acknowledge that. He really fucking liked the dude, and he was actually starting to mean something to him. Which meant that he had to meet his family. They were too important for him not to have that happened.That just brought up one issue though, in that he had to introduce Kravitz to his family without letting him know about about well, the fact that they weren't exactly human, to say the least.It would be fine. They were going to have a nice, normal family get together, and nothing was going to go wrong here.





	Trying For Anything But A Fairytale

**Author's Note:**

> Day 5 Prompts:
> 
> Mythology AU  
> Meet the family  
> “I don’t even know you anymore!”

Taako was pacing back and forth in his living room, trying to make sure everything was in place. Everything had to be- well, not perfect. It had to specifically be not perfect, it had to be normal. This was very important and he had to make sure it went as well as it possible could, which meant easing certain revelations in slowly.

“Will you relax already? You’re acting like Barry before a board meeting at this point,” Lup said from where she was lounged out on the couch like nothing was going down at all. She still looked like herself too, all long elegant ears and etherealness. Taako knew the spell only took a second to cast but he still couldn’t help but worry about cutting it so close.

“I am not that bad, don’t even joke about that. Barry would’ve tried to get me to kill him at least twice by now if he was in this position,” Taako said, looking over a large bookcase they had set up. Were jars of preserved creatures normal to have lying around? They weren’t even his, and most of them were normal animals. Maybe he should get Barry to take the manticore bits back into his room though. And the basilisk scales. And the kelpie skull, although that might pass as a normal horse skull. 

“This is your own fault for deciding to date a human bro, you can’t blame anyone but yourself,” Lup said, getting up off the couch and grabbing a couple of jars without him even having to ask. Sometimes the mental link was a little annoying, but right now he was a bit thankful. Kravitz would be here soon and he still had so much shit to do.

“You decided to date a human too, so I don’t see where you get off judging me,” he said, and Lup shrugged. Sure, he’d goofed on her about it when it was happening, but that was way before he even met Kravitz, so he was in the clear. 

“Never said it was a bad thing, just that you need to stop freaking out about it. Barry was fine when he found out about all this, remember?” she said, and Taako huffed, moving from the living room to the kitchen.

“Barry was already a freak though, and now he’s part ghost so it doesn’t even count,” he said. Okay, the food was still done. He wasn’t sure why it would get any less done, but you never fucking know. He cooked with human food a lot, he enjoyed it, but you never know how it will react with magic sometimes. He was careful though, he didn’t want to end up poisoning or charming or cursing Kravitz with his food by accident after all. 

That would be a pretty bad reveal, that was definitely not the way he wanted to do this. He didn’t want to do it at all really. He was trying  _ not _ to do this.

But he also wanted Kravitz to meet his family. Lup was the most important person in his life, and Barry was real fucking important to him too. There was no denying any of that. Anyone who was worth more than half a shit in Taako’s life needed to know just how much he needed those two.

And Kravitz was starting to mean a whole lot more than that to him.

They’d been dating for a while now, a lot longer than Taako would’ve normally gone without introducing someone to his family. Or at least, probably a lot longer than he normally would. It’d been a pretty long time since he seriously dated someone. But yeah, they’d been dating for a while, and Taako was starting to realize that he wanted this to continue. It'd stopped being a fun fling to pass the time and that was terrifying because it meant shit mattered now. 

He fucking liked Kravitz, and because of that he  _ needed _ to meet Lup and Barry. He wasn’t ready to tell him about all the other aspects of his life yet, but this was a start. It was a big start, and maybe if he eased Kravitz in slow he wouldn’t get overwhelmed and leave him.

He’d already cleaned up the kitchen after he finished cooking, so he was needlessly rearranging things at this point. What did normal humans have in their kitchens again? He’d tried to put away anything that was too obviously magical. God, should he hide any of their every day food too? He didn’t know why the fuck Kravitz would eat anything Taako hadn’t put out for their dinner, but what if he  _ did. _ Weird shit happened when humans ate fey food.

“Bro,” Lup said, stopping in front of him where he’d picked up a chunk of banana like fruit and scrambled around trying to find a place to hide it. She grabbed onto his shoulders to keep him from moving around her to keep up his panicked search for a banana hiding spot. “Chill out for like, three seconds Taako, just breath,” she said, and Taako frowned.

“I am breathing, shit’s fine,” he said, reaching over to put the bananas back down on the counter to prove his point. Lup didn’t seem particularly convinced though, and that wasn’t a surprise.

“Taako, if this dude of yours is worth anything, he’ll be alright with this, with  _ you. _ And if he’s not? Then fuck him,” she said, and Taako sighed.

“Yeah, okay, I get it. You’re right,” he grumbled, letting his shoulders slump some when Lup let go. He knew she was right, if Kravitz was that freaked out by him being a fey then it wouldn’t work, plane and simple. “I just, like, you know… whatever,” he muttered.

He liked Kravitz. He didn’t want this to get fucked up because he was a fey and Kravitz was probably going to think that was weird. Or like, get it in his head that Taako and his family were dangerous and trying to lure him in to steal his soul or some shit. Like, Taako wouldn’t be opposed to having his soul, but he wouldn’t be an asshole and take it without permission. But still, he could get why Kravitz might be freaked out when he found out.

“Of course I’m right, I’m always right,” Lup said, and Taako rolled his eyes.

“Factually incorrect, but whatever,” he said, and even though he was a bit calmer now he still picked the bananas back up. “Uh, you think I should hide these though? What if he eats one?” he asked, and Lup looked very done with that.

“If he eats a banana instead of the food you so lovingly cooked for all of us that’s his own damn fault,” she said. To prove her point she took the bunch from him and put it back in the little banana hammock.

“Okay but what if he does?” he pressed, even though he knew this was a dumb line of though. 

Before he could continue down it anymore though, the sound of the doorbell ringing ran throughout the house and Taako flinched.

“Fuck, fuck okay he’s here. Shit, uuuh, shit. Lulu, go make sure your boy has his skin on and uh, fuck. Make sure that talking plant from Merle isn’t out in the hallway,” he said, starting to running back to the living room. “And lock the door to your room! I don’t want him going into that horror show!” he called back towards her. Stopping in front of the mirror, Taako took a deep breath, doing a quick once over to make sure his more otherworldly features were still well and hidden underneath the spell. Once that was done he put on a smile before opening the door.

“Hey handsome, what brings you here?” he asked, leaning against the door frame casually. See? He was cool, no panicking happening here. Just a regular guy happy to see his boyfriend.

“Well I just happened to be in the area,” Kravitz joked, before holding up a bag that had a couple of bottles of wine in it. “I wasn’t sure if I should bring anything or not, but I figured alcohol is usually a safe bet,” he said. The joking smirk that had been on Taako’s face shifted into a more genuine smile.

“Hell yeah my dude! I mean, you didn’t have to bring anything, we’ve got food hells of covered, but like, thanks. It’s uh, it’s nice of you,” he said, taking the bag from Kravitz.

“I didn’t want to show up empty handed when you’ve gone through all the trouble of making dinner,” he said. Taako knew he fucking meant that too, he wasn’t trying to sound nice, he genuinely cared about that kind of stuff.

“Well, you still didn’t have to,” Taako said, a softer smile on his face than he meant for there to be. Kravitz shrugged, and there was a moment where they were just standing around. Taako kind of expected Kravitz to come inside, but he was just sort of staring at him, which was fair. Even with his fey features hidden, he was still pretty damn fine. And so was Kravitz, like  _ damn. _ He was always a little bit overdressed, but honestly it was endearing as fuck.  

“Um,” Kravitz said after a moment, and Taako jolted because right.

“Oh yeah! Uh, come on in, mi casa su casa and all that jazz,” he said, stepping out of the doorway. Kravitz quickly followed him inside, and Taako headed into the kitchen to put the wine down. “So, Lup and Barry are around somewhere, they should be out in a bit,” he added, and Kravitz nodded.

“Right, um…” he muttered, and when Taako turned to look at him he looked nervous as fuck. Which was only kind of a relief, in the fact that Taako wasn’t the only one who’d been panicking about this.

“What’sa matter my dude?” he asked.

“It’s nothing, it’s just… do you think they’ll like me?” he asked, sounding so fucking worried about this. “I just don’t want your family to, I don’t know, disapprove of me? I know how much they mean to you,” he added, and Taako really wanted to ignore how much that made his insides melt. He knew Kravitz actually meant that. He was always so  _ considerate _ of Taako, it was almost sickeningly sweet.

“Babe, they’re gonna love you, don’t even fret,” he said. Kravitz smiled all soft at him, and he was severely tempted to go over and kiss his dumb face. In fact he was going to do just that when he heard loud footsteps coming down the hall.

“Where is the boyfriend? Bring him forth so that I may judge him!” Lup shouted from fucking across the house. Taako groaned, shooting a sympathetic smile at Kravitz who was back to looking slightly terrified.

“We’re in the goddamn kitchen, stop screaming,” he yelled back. “Don’t let her scare you my dude, that’s what she wants,” he added in a regular voice to Kravitz, who nodded faintly, still seeming plenty scared. After a minute both Lup and Barry walked into the kitchen, and thankfully Barry had his fucking skin on and Lup her human illusion. He’d told them both enough times how important it was that they do that, so he knew they wouldn’t have forgotten, but he’d still been worried. 

“Lulu, Barold, this is my boy. Krav, this is my sister and  _ her _ boy,” Taako said, introducing the whole lot.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you both,” Kravitz said, chuckling somewhat at his introduction and holding out his hand for them to shake. Lup snatched it up, and Taako wished she wouldn’t look at his boyfriend quite so menacingly.

“Likewise, Taako’s told us a lot about you,” she said, and Taako wasn’t sure how she managed to both sound welcoming and threatening at the same time.

“Oh, that’s um, good? I think?” he said, and Taako couldn’t blame him for sounding uncertain with that.

“Uh, you want to take off your coat and gloves and stuff? I can take them if you want,” Barry offered, and okay, at least one of them was genuinely trying to be chill and not vaguely unnerving.

“Um, would it be alright if I kept them on actually? I have circulation issues, I’m always freezing,” Kravitz said, and that wasn’t a new thing for Taako.  It was a little weird to get used to at first, but compared to the shit he dealt with normally it was nothing.

“Yeah, he’s a chilly boy,” he agreed. Barry just shrugged, not seeming bothered one way or the other by this. “Well, now that everyone knows each other let’s get this dinner started,” Taako said, heading to pull out the food from where he’d been keeping it warm. Lup was at his side in an instant, helping it set out the dishes for people to grab. They’d made a  _ lot _ of food. Taako had been worried it would be too much, it was just the four of them after all. Lup had been on board with helping him cook it all though, and having leftovers never hurt.

“So, Kravitz right? What uh, what do you do for work?” Barry asked, the attempt at small talk sounding incredibly awkward. Like, Barold was his best goddamn friend, but man did the dude not know how to person a lot of the time.

“Oh, it’s not that interesting, it’s a family business,” he said. Taako and Lup had just about gotten everything set out when the doorbell rang again, and Taako stopped. Lup continued setting things up, looking perfectly innocent. Too innocent.

“Lulu, do you know who’s at the door?” he asked, and she hummed noncommittally.

“Nope, you said it was just going to be us and your new boy, right?” she said, and he nodded. The doorbell rang again. Then two more times in quick succession. Then whoever was out there was pressing down and having it continue to blare out in one steady, annoying note.

“Krav, babe, stay right here for a minute. Start making yourself a plate, I’ll be  _ right back,” _ he said, and Kravitz nodded.

Heading to the door, when he opened it he wasn’t surprised to see Magnus and Merle standing out there, Mangus’s hand on the doorbell.

“The fuck guys?” he asked. Instead of answering and leaving like they should the two dunderfucks started heading inside without a fucking care in the world. “Excuse me, do you live here? Do you pay rent?” he huffed at them.

“We’re here for the party,” Merle said, tossing a container of coleslaw at Taako. “There’s the party tax.”

“We heard there was some family get together?” Magnus said, sniffing at the air. At least if anyone saw that it could be blamed on the fact that his house smelled fucking incredible right now with all the food he’d made.

“You heard wrong, get the fuck out of my house,” Taako said, already feeling the impending failure at getting them to leave. Going to close the door, it hit something with a thud and Taako heard a very distinctive, quiet ‘ow.’

Taako took a deep breath, rubbing at his temples as he tried to keep himself from losing his cool. Of course this was happening.

“Hey pumpkin? Cut the act, I know you’re there,” he said, and there was a shimmer and Angus appeared in the spot by the door, a sheepish look on his face. Thankfully he’d chosen to look like a human kid right now, and not a fucking dragon.

“Sorry sir, I tried to convince them not to,” he said, and Taako nodded. That sounded about right, and so was Angus tagging along while invisible when he couldn’t convince them.

“Am I going to be able to convince you fuckers to leave?” he asked, hoping beyond hope the answer wouldn’t be what he knew it was going to be.

“Nope!” Magnus and Merle answered cheerfully in unison, and Taako sighed heavily.

He could do this. So he had a few more people over, it wasn’t that big of a deal. He could still keep this a secret, and he was kidding himself if he thought he wouldn’t have to introduce Kravitz to them at some point anyway. Maybe it should be like a band-aid, get it all over with as fast as possible.

“Okay, but fucking listen, this shit is important. Kravitz doesn’t know. He’s not going to know, and you fuckers aren’t going to tell him,” he said, and thankfully all three of them nodded.

“Sure thing Taako!”

“Of course sir!”

“Wait, what doesn’t who know?”

Taako ignored Merle’s question, pretty sure it was just him being Merle. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Taako headed back towards the kitchen. Things weren’t going exactly as planned thus far, but it was going to be fine.

He was going to have a wonderful dinner with his boyfriend and his family, and everything was going to be  _ fine. _

**Author's Note:**

> i have made a terrible mistake. I knew one of these fics was going to end up being multichapter, and here we are. I promise all of the prompts will be included in this by the end of it. I got excited for this one though, I'm not sure if this counts as mythology so much as just general fantasy, but it's close enough I suppose. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy~


End file.
